Privacy Policy

Last Updated: When We Stopped Snickering (August 2025, Probably)

Welcome to Everyonesacomedian.com, where your privacy is as sacred as a comedian’s best punchline—except we won’t steal it and claim it as our own. This Privacy Policy explains how we handle your info, why we’re not selling it (spoiler: we’re too lazy), and what to expect when you join our digital comedy club. If you’re still reading, congratulations—you’ve passed the “not bored yet” test.

A Legal Disclaimer (Sort Of)
We are never going to sell your information. Seriously, we’d rather sell knock-knock jokes to a silent crowd than your data. We might accidentally laugh at it, but that’s the closest it gets to a transaction. This policy is our promise, not a contract—think of it as a verbal high-five with extra steps.

Privacy Policy – The Basics
• NEVER: We won’t sell, trade, or auction your info to the highest bidder. No creepy ads, no data brokers, no nothing. Our servers are too busy hosting bad puns to deal with that nonsense.
• NEVER: We won’t stalk you with emails unless you sign up for our newsletter (and even then, it’s just jokes, not your life story).
• NEVER: We won’t share your data with third parties unless you tell us to, like if you challenge Bad Rudi the Red Panda to a roast battle and lose spectacularly.

What to Include in the Privacy Policy
Here’s the rundown of what we collect and why, because transparency is funnier than a prop comic’s rubber chicken:
• Account Info: If you create an account to unleash your inner comedian, we might ask for an email or username. We use it to log you in, not to send you pyramid scheme invites.
• Usage Data: We track how you navigate the site—clicks, laughs, and “why did I read that?” moments—to improve things. Think of it as us studying your comedy taste, not spying on your browser history.
• Cookies: Yes, we use cookies, but they’re the digital kind, not the ones you’d dunk in milk. They help us remember you, like a comedian remembering their best heckler comeback.
• Content You Share: If you post jokes or memes in our “Unleash Your Inner Comedian” section, we’ll store that to showcase your genius. We won’t turn it into a bestseller without your permission (mostly because we can’t write books).

How We Protect Your Info
We store your data in a virtual vault guarded by AI clowns who laugh at hackers. Okay, not really—it’s encrypted and secured with standard tech measures. If someone breaks in, we’ll send you a comedy apology video instead of a boring breach notice.

Your Rights
• Access & Delete: Want to see what we’ve got on you or erase it? Hit us up via the contact page, and we’ll sort it faster than a stand-up bombing on stage.
• Opt-Out: Don’t want cookies or emails? Adjust your settings or tell us to buzz off—we won’t take it personally (maybe).
• Complain: If you think we’ve messed up, yell at us. We’ll listen, laugh, and fix it, probably in that order.

Third-Party Links
Our site might link to X posts or other comedy goldmines. We don’t control those, so if you click and end up on a site selling “haunted microphone” NFTs, don’t blame us—check their privacy policies instead.

Changes to This Policy
We might update this when inspiration strikes, like after a killer improv night. Check back, because assuming it’s the same is like assuming every joke lands—spoiler: it doesn’t.

Contact Us
Got questions or a privacy concern? Drop a line on the contact page at Everyonesacomedian.com. We’ll reply quicker than you can say “tough crowd,” unless we’re too busy laughing at your last joke submission.

Final Word
Period. That’s it. No selling, no shenanigans, just comedy. Enjoy the site, unleash your humor, and trust us to keep your info safer than a comedian’s secret notebook.