Refund Policy

Last Updated: When We Realized Refunds Are Just Regrets in Disguise (August 2025, Give or Take a Punchline)

Hey there, aspiring comedy mogul! Welcome to the Refund Policy for Everyonesacomedian.com, where we turn “no refunds” into an art form funnier than a clown at a funeral. We’re legally obligated to spill the beans on this, but let’s face it—refunds are like bad jokes: nobody wants them, but sometimes they happen. By browsing our site or buying merch (because who doesn’t need a T-shirt that says “Everyone’s a Comedian… Except You”?), you’re agreeing to this chaos. If not, exit stage left and don’t let the door hit your funny bone.

A Legal Disclaimer (Because Lawyers Gotta Eat)
We are legally obligated to tell you there is no refund policy. That’s right, folks—once you hit “buy,” it’s yours forever, like that tattoo you got after a wild night of open mic. We guarantee you may or may not laugh at our free products (hey, humor’s subjective; blame your taste buds). If you purchase a product from our merch selection and are not pleased with it, give it to someone you don’t like and call it a day. Boom—problem solved, and you’ve got a passive-aggressive gift idea. No returns, no exchanges, no “but I thought the mug would make me funnier” excuses.

Refund Policy – The Basics
Having said that, a Refund Policy is a legally binding document that is meant to establish the legal relations between you and your customers regarding how and if you will provide them with a refund. That is the legal BS. But since we’re an online comedy club, not a courtroom drama, let’s break it down with some real talk:
• No Refunds on Laughter: If our jokes don’t land and you’re left staring blankly at the screen, tough crowd! Refunds aren’t available for bruised egos or unmet giggle quotas. Try the mirror trick from our Terms and Conditions—it’s free therapy.
• Merch Mishaps: Bought a hoodie that’s scratchier than a heckler’s comeback? Or a sticker that won’t stick like your last relationship? Sorry, no dice. Our merch is crafted with love (and cheap ink), but all sales are final. If it’s defective—like a shirt that shrinks to doll size after one wash—contact us, and we’ll pretend to care while sending you a virtual high-five.
• Digital Downloads: Snagged a PDF of “101 Ways to Bomb on Stage”? Once downloaded, it’s non-refundable. Think of it as buying a bad pun—you can’t unhear it.
• Exceptions? Ha!: In rare cases, like if we accidentally ship you a rubber chicken instead of a keychain (it happens), we might offer store credit. But only if you send us a video of you using it in a comedy bit. Bonus points for props.

Why No Refunds? The Comedy Club Philosophy
Life’s too short for refunds—it’s like asking for your money back after a stand-up show because the opener bombed. We pour our souls (and bad coffee) into this site to make you laugh, not to play refund roulette. Plus, processing returns would cut into our joke-writing time, and nobody wants that. If you’re unhappy, unleash your inner comedian in our section and roast us instead—it’s cathartic and free!

What If You Really, Really Want a Refund?
Contact us via the page on Everyonesacomedian.com with your sob story. We’ll review it faster than a critic pans a flop, but don’t hold your breath. If it’s a legit issue (e.g., we sent you an empty box labeled “Invisible Jokes”), we’ll hook you up. Otherwise, consider it a lesson in impulse buying—hilarious, right?

Changes to This Policy
We might tweak this when the mood strikes, like after a refund request that’s funnier than our content. Check back often, or risk being surprised like a prop comic without props.

Final Punchline
There you have it—no refunds, all laughs (or not, your call). If this policy has you chuckling in the shower or rethinking your wardrobe choices, mission accomplished. Now go buy some merch—you know you want to. If you’re assessing this chaos, thank you; that’s our statement.